What movie is this?

Just an FYI, I’m in Washington, DC, until December. Memory fails me in remembering if I’ve discussed this or even mentioned it recently, and if not—there’s your update.


I got here last Friday and the intervening (almost) week has been an honest whirlwind. We’ve been through a blur of new people, historic places, restaurants and out-of-body experiences. Most of us started our internships and we’ve all survived the first few times on the Metro. We’ve collectively changed water bottles, answered phones, steamed clothes and gotten blisters on our feet. We survived a three hour jaunt to Target with 9 people in tow across the city and half of us have acclimated to walking up to the third floor to get home. I’ve learned that it only takes an 8 minute walk to get from my third floor door to the fifth floor door of my office. I also pass the youngest congressman’s office when I go to work every day. Yes… I believe whirlwind is the best way to describe our experiences thus far, but my experience has a little extra attached to it.


I’ll be the first to admit that it’s all been a little weird. I would say it’s been surreal, but that word doesn’t truly describe what my experience has been. The easiest way to explain it is to say that I feel like I’m in a movie. I see things, but it doesn’t faze me. I experience things and I almost hear the movie soundtrack in the background. This movie is especially one of those where you feel for the characters… you cry, you laugh (a lot) and you get excited when all the characters achieve something momentous. And then you realize this IS NOT a movie, especially when the main character (me) twists her ankle and hits the ground—the usually edit that stuff in the real movies.

Regardless, this experience has been crazy. Don’t get me wrong—it’s been amazing, just slightly crazy. I will try to be better at updating this blog. I’ll also get back to addressing my weight loss and how I’m adjusting here. Before I go, here’s a thank you… All those who are so honestly and adamantly supporting me in my weight loss and in my journey in DC—y’all are amazing. You give my strength to keep going, and for that I am forever grateful.

More to life.

I’m not an athlete, but I’m one of the best runners I know. I break sound barriers and break records unknown to those around me. I’m good at putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again. I can look far ahead; decide where to run to next. I can look over my shoulder to check where I’ve been. I fall and I bounce back up. I get hurt and deal with the pain. I run, unafraid of what I am running to or away from. Truthfully though, I do not like running.

Figuratively or literally. I am best at figuratively running—it’s an art I’ve honed to a tee. My life has been in fast forward for a long time, but more so in the past three years. Always out to prove myself and show that I am worth something beyond my layers of fat. Almost as if every extra pound meant I needed to prove myself in another way, it’s gotten old.

What is there to prove? And moreover, why am I still trying so dang hard? Some people are born to overachieve, but not me. I designed myself that way to compensate for not physically being good enough. I didn’t do it on purpose, but that’s how I feel now. I do not want to be perfect and I certainly don’t want to be in constant search of someone else’s approval.

This is my life and it’s time to do what I want. Finally.

Photo update!

My mom and I on one of the bikes... Ridiculous

Jett, me and Dan - These are two of my older friends :) They are in a band and this was between one of their sets!

Jade and I at the Ag Education & Communication Banquet.

Okay... No matter what, I will ALWAYS love to bake. And I will always look goofy doing it!

Well, guess I can share what the guy looks like... This is Luke :)

Oh yeah.... That motorcycle? One of TWO that my parents rode up to campus on...

... IN ALL LEATHER. Welcome to my life. Yes, my parents are cooler than me.

My parents and cousin joined me at CASNR Honors Banquet. One of my last duties as an overacheiver :) This was the day I went blonde for the summer!

Tandi (roomie) and I before going out! My shirt is actually a dress, but I think it's cuter as a shirt! I am kinda in love with clothes... Oh yes, that is Ace in the corner- Ruler of our House

Tandi and I this week relaxing! Starting off summer in a nice way :)

Okay, usually I'm very cautious about "alcohol" pictures, but this is just too fun to pass up. For the record, I am 21 and no I didn't drive. I've known these three since Summer 2006... Four years later and we are still as goofy as ever!

These were my favorite khakis. I tried to wear them the other day and it didn't work out very well. Sad... NOT!

My newest shorts (yes, they are short!) over my old pants... Progress?

I really love this picture for unknown reasons. Oh well, I think it's cute!

Hope you've enjoyed my pictures! Thanks for keeping up with me!

Planner.

I am a planner. Or I was a planner. Maybe I’m a mix between a planner and a go-with-the-flow girl. Probably not. I guess as of recently, I’ve been relaxed… or, shall I hazard to say—normal?


Yesterday I was bebopping down to street doing errands for work and reveling in the fact that for once I felt relaxed. My mind was meandering through different topics, but one thought literally stopped me in my tracks (literally).

There is more to life than planning and worrying about tomorrow.

WHAT? Hello, Ashley from even a month ago—LISTEN TO THIS! This thought was such a refreshing change of pace from what usually happens in my head.

Here’s what usually goes on in my brain: "Ugh, I need to send that email. Crud, I forgot to call so and so. I really need to make that reservation. I need to decide on a grad school. Wait, I need to take my GRE. Do I still want a doctorate? Will I have time to cook dinner tonight? Should I run when I get home? Am I getting paler? What time is it? Oh no, I’m running late again. I need to fill up my gas tank. I wonder if I can go see Paige this weekend. I need to CALL Paige. How many kids do I want? I really need to schedule a doctor’s appointment. I wish I had time for a nap. I wonder what kind of house I want to live in. I need to choose what breed of dog I’m getting in a year. When am I going to do my senior portraits? Oh look… a butterfly."

Ok, this may be an exaggeration, but you can imagine how much I worry and plan in my head on a daily basis. It’s a lot. No joke. So, what has changed? What has helped me to shift ever so slightly? I can’t specify one perspective-altering moment, so I will hit all the major points.

• I’ve been given FREEDOM. That’s right… I’m retired from all but one of my office positions and I am free. Don’t get me wrong, I feel very blessed to have served and given back, but I’ve changed. I’ve never been a Resume Renegade, but I feel like that’s what has happened. I may have a nice resume, but that doesn’t mean anything. Yes, I’ll get a job. Yes, I LOVE what I’ve done. But, how does that get me what I truly want? Yeah… it really doesn’t.

• Summertime—I am happier during the summer, therefore I think better and freer.

• The man. Or my man. Or the boyfriend. Wait, did I just say boyfriend? You bet I just did! That’s right… it’s official, and that is still mind boggling to say. In a good way of course : ) Regardless, this whole thing has taught me something amazing. Well, I guess it reaffirmed something. I’ve always known what I wanted in a guy. But it’s taken this whole thing for me to see what God has always known I needed in a guy. I’ve needed someone to balance me and make me see that planning isn’t everything. That thought alone makes me smile… I like being at peace with where I am. I like the peace of knowing that God knows what best for me and my tomorrow is in His hands.

I am still planning, but I don’t feel like I need something concrete. I will decide on grad school when the time comes. I’ll pick a dog later. I’ll worry about marriage and kids and all that when the time is right. These things don’t matter today. What matters is that I am happy. I am content. My heart isn’t frozen in fear and my smile is genuine.

This is the life, and I am loving every moment of it.

Fifty-one.

Guess WHAT! That's right... I hit the 50 pound lost milestone. Actually, it's up to 51 pounds lost!! 

I was a complete bubble of joy when I weighed in and I feel like this is finally real. I am losing weight, my confidence is growing and I am ME. Weird, but amazing.

I may have had a little too much fun doing my mini photo shoot. Regardless, I AM HAPPY!!

Thanks for your continued support! Much love and God bless!

Brother.

I will not lie… there are millions of struggles I face in relation to my band and weight loss in general. It’s not easy, but it certainly is helping me grow and to learn more about myself.


I’ve been struggling with my swim class lately. Call it a loss of motivation or a dash of Senioritis—doesn’t matter why, just that I’ve been feeling myself slow down.


The other day we were in class and doing this hellacious sprint drill called a “Fartlek.” This Swedish sprint drill was adapted for our class, so we have to sprint swim and then slow swim and repeat for waaaay too long. About halfway through I was wanted to quit. I wanted to make up an excuse and just let myself rest. But I couldn’t and I knew I needed to find my motivation—and QUICK.

Then this thought popped into my head… “Be like Arron.”

You might be confused, but if you know my brother; you definitely should not be confused. When it comes to exercising, my brother is my polar opposite. His dedication and passion for working out and being a badass at the gym makes us look like we aren’t related. His ability to combine his knowledge, research, Type A personality and strength is inspiring.

I can’t promise that my exercise program will ever match Arron’s, but maybe I can channel his spirit? I mean, we both got our genes from the same place… doesn’t that mean we can be the same in some rights? It’s been entirely too easy to be intimidated by what he has done and what he is doing, but I shouldn’t be. I should be feeding off of his success because if he can do it—maybe I can too?

This is all food for thought, but there is something extra. I’d like to wish my brother the best of luck this weekend. When I say he is dedicated, I am not kidding. He is doing the MS 150… Yes, he is a badass. He has raised $855.00 (his goal was $400... such an overacheiver) to date and has only been training and fundraising for a short about of time. If you are interested in Arron’s journey, you can check out his MS 150 site here: Arron's MS150 Blog

Good luck to my brother!

Arron and I last October

Arron and the marshmallow man we made to portray him. :)

Update.

World’s Most Random Update


• I got a fill today! I am up to 8 units… go me, I get my lucky number!

• The guy from my last entry? Yeah… that’s back on. I’m happy, so all is good.

• I have an internship for this summer! Therefore, I won’t be going back to Houston.

• I am tanning for the month of April. I don’t care how superficial it is, I like not being pale. In the words of my roommate—“Tan fat is sexier than pale fat.” True and it’s relaxing!

• MY LIFE IS SLOWING DOWN! Hard to believe eh?

• My weight has been yo-yoing, but it’s back on the decline.

• I need help on my clothes and shoe buying habit. :)



How about some pictures? I’ll update with some soon!