Change Concern.

Last Thursday I went in to get some preliminary labs done. I went through an Upper GI and EKG. As I was lying on the x-ray table drinking a disgusting liquid called Barium, everything became frightening real. I know the ins & outs of this surgery and the mental and physical ramifications of the surgery… but it is still extremely huge and scary to think about. I know that I am meant to do this, but it is still scary.

A few weeks ago I finally told one of my best friends about the surgery. I took the easy way and just texted him because I was so worried. Worrying about what people might say is a huge burden that I do not want to carry anymore. I won’t “go live” with this blog until I actually get the surgery in the off chance that it does not happen. I am entirely too cautious, I know.

Anyway, back to my friend. Yesterday we talked about the surgery and I confided my fear of the changes to him and God blessed me with an amazing response… he said, “It’s not like you are going to be a different person… you will still be caring, quirky, involved, and fun!”

Such a simple message did so many things for me. I am at peace with who I am, but it’s amazing to see that others are as well. And the reassurance is priceless.
Tomorrow I go in to do blood work and I guess the countdown begins. A week from Friday is the day. Woah