I am a planner. Or I was a planner. Maybe I’m a mix between a planner and a go-with-the-flow girl. Probably not. I guess as of recently, I’ve been relaxed… or, shall I hazard to say—
normal?
Yesterday I was bebopping down to street doing errands for work and reveling in the fact that for once I felt relaxed. My mind was meandering through different topics, but one thought literally stopped me in my tracks
(literally).
There is more to life than planning and worrying about tomorrow.
WHAT? Hello, Ashley from even a month ago—LISTEN TO THIS! This thought was such a refreshing change of pace from what usually happens in my head.
Here’s what usually goes on in my brain:
"Ugh, I need to send that email. Crud, I forgot to call so and so. I really need to make that reservation. I need to decide on a grad school. Wait, I need to take my GRE. Do I still want a doctorate? Will I have time to cook dinner tonight? Should I run when I get home? Am I getting paler? What time is it? Oh no, I’m running late again. I need to fill up my gas tank. I wonder if I can go see Paige this weekend. I need to CALL Paige. How many kids do I want? I really need to schedule a doctor’s appointment. I wish I had time for a nap. I wonder what kind of house I want to live in. I need to choose what breed of dog I’m getting in a year. When am I going to do my senior portraits? Oh look… a butterfly."
Ok, this may be an exaggeration, but you can imagine how much I worry and plan in my head on a daily basis. It’s a lot. No joke. So, what has changed? What has helped me to shift ever so slightly? I can’t specify one perspective-altering moment, so I will hit all the major points.
• I’ve been given
FREEDOM. That’s right… I’m retired from all but one of my office positions and I am free. Don’t get me wrong, I
feel very blessed to have served and given back, but I’ve changed. I’ve never been a Resume Renegade, but I feel like that’s what has happened. I may have a nice resume, but that doesn’t mean anything. Yes, I’ll get a job. Yes, I
LOVE what I’ve done. But, how does that get me what I truly want? Yeah… it really
doesn’t.
•
Summertime—I am happier during the summer, therefore I think better and freer.
• The man. Or my man. Or the
boyfriend. Wait, did I just say boyfriend? You bet I just did! That’s right… it’s official, and that is still mind boggling to say. In a good way of course : ) Regardless, this whole thing has taught me something amazing. Well, I guess it reaffirmed something. I’ve always known what I wanted in a guy. But it’s taken this whole thing for me to see what God has always known I needed in a guy. I’ve needed someone to balance me and make me see that planning isn’t everything. That thought alone makes me smile… I like being at peace with where I am.
I like the peace of knowing that God knows what best for me and my tomorrow is in His hands.
I am still planning, but I don’t feel like I need something concrete. I will decide on grad school when the time comes. I’ll pick a dog later. I’ll worry about marriage and kids and all that when the time is right. These things don’t matter today. What matters is that I am
happy. I am
content. My heart isn’t frozen in fear and my smile is genuine.
This is the life, and I am loving every moment of it.
Jett, me and Dan - These are two of my older friends :) They are in a band and this was between one of their sets! 
Jade and I at the Ag Education & Communication Banquet. 
Okay... No matter what, I will ALWAYS love to bake. And I will always look goofy doing it!
Well, guess I can share what the guy looks like... This is Luke :)
Oh yeah.... That motorcycle? One of TWO that my parents rode up to campus on...
... IN ALL LEATHER. Welcome to my life. Yes, my parents are cooler than me.
My parents and cousin joined me at CASNR Honors Banquet. One of my last duties as an overacheiver :) This was the day I went blonde for the summer!
Tandi (roomie) and I before going out! My shirt is actually a dress, but I think it's cuter as a shirt! I am kinda in love with clothes... Oh yes, that is Ace in the corner- Ruler of our House
Tandi and I this week relaxing! Starting off summer in a nice way :)
Okay, usually I'm very cautious about "alcohol" pictures, but this is just too fun to pass up. For the record, I am 21 and no I didn't drive. I've known these three since Summer 2006... Four years later and we are still as goofy as ever!
These were my favorite khakis. I tried to wear them the other day and it didn't work out very well. Sad... NOT!
My newest shorts (yes, they are short!) over my old pants... Progress?
I really love this picture for unknown reasons. Oh well, I think it's cute!
