Appearance.

As I was sitting in the airport waiting to board my flight home, this girl sat in the chair next to me. She had to be in middle school and she reminded me of someone. Her all black clothing, carefully chosen “I don’t care what you think” backpack and need to listen to music reminded me all too well of the girl I used to be me. I’ll admit that I went through a punk or whatever phase when I was younger. I’m certain my parents and family are distinctively happy that it was just that—a phase.


Regardless, this miniature reflection of the girl I used to be has brought something huge to my attention… I have changed. I know I’ve been constantly evolving into the woman (okay, not quite a woman—but I am getting there) that I am today. I think the biggest change has been the pride I’ve taken in my appearance.

I used to not care about what I wore or how I looked. I’d say college was a turning point, but not THE turning point. It wasn’t until this whole weight loss journey began that I truly started to give a shit—to put it frankly.

This change hasn’t been a welcome one for the bank account, but it’s been amazing for the soul. There is something liberating about knowing that this shirt is not a t-shirt, and that I couldn’t fit into this size of shorts a year ago. Something strangely exciting about giving away the clothes that I wore in comfort because they kinda slide off my hips.

The weirdest thing is the fact that I am actually taking care of the assets I had all along. My hair is not always in a pony tail and my face is actually treated with care. I’m getting better about liking my hair how it falls and doing the infamous “run my hand through my hair like I don’t care” trick that they do in movies. I’ve become a fan of Mary Kay and I’m far less likely to just pick up anything.

I actually care now, and this is something that I can hardly believe. Though most people view caring about your looks as a hassle, I love it. Because finally I see myself as worthy. I view myself as good enough to take the time to look good. I matter, and so does how I look… you know, in a good way.